A Hard Weekend

I have realized that dealing with loss doesn't seem to get any easier over time or with experience. If anything, new loss brings up some of the feelings that you had thought you had forgotten or moved on from.

On Thursday, my sister, Kristin, went to the hospital because she thought that her water had broken. She had been feeling the baby move, so she was stunned to learn that her baby boy no longer had a heartbeat. She had just had an appointment the previous day, and the baby seemed to be perfectly healthy. She was just over 36 weeks pregnant.

When my mom called to tell me the news, I was stunned. This was the last thing that any of us were expecting. Mike and I immediately got ready to head to the hospital, and I ended up staying with her through the night and part of the next day. Fortunately, Kristin was blessed with an "easy" labor. They induced her at about 10:00 pm and she delivered her son at about 4:25 the following morning. She named her son Braxton David Rice. It was very surreal to see him be delivered, but not hear any of the typical sounds that you would associate with a delivery...no heart rate monitoring, no baby crying, no oohs and aahs about this beautiful new life.

What makes this story even more difficult is the journey Kristin had traveled to get to this point. She is expecting her divorce to be finalized any day now, and had chosen to place her baby for adoption. We had just had a family dinner with the couple she had chosen to place her baby with last week, and it had been so fun to see how excited they were...they told us about the nursery, baby showers, and a countdown chain they had. It is heartbreaking that this tragedy has to affect two different families.

Unfortunately, this has not been the only hard blow my family has been dealt this weekend. Yesterday, we learned that my grandpa has been diagnosed with an aggressive and invasive form of skin cancer. We are still waiting to learn how much the cancer has spread, but it sounds like it is not going to be an easy road. What makes it even more hard is that my grandparents live out of state, so it is hard for family to be accessible to them.

It has been amazing to see the kindness and tender mercies that come out of hard times. My family has been so blessed by the kindness of strangers, friends, and ward members. Some of my mom's friends stepped in and set-up meals, purchased clothing for Braxton to be buried in, and made all of the mortuary and cemetery arrangements. My cousin arranged for a professional photographer to come take pictures of Braxton and Kristin, free of charge. Another cousin went to my parent's house and spent hours cleaning, and there have been, and continue to be, many other kindnesses that have been extended to us. It makes me so thankful for all of the amazing people that we have in our life. I am also so thankful for my knowledge of the plan of salvation; even though this hurts right now, it is going to be okay eventually.