Donut Falls

Last night, we took our kids for their first hike. Having two young kids has made us a little nervous to try some family activities...let's face it, even just taking two young kids on an outing to the store can be an adventure. I have many fond childhood memories of spending time in the mountains with my family, and hiking to Donut Falls was one of my favorites. My brother and sister wanted to hike there again, so we figured it was the perfect time to try it out with our kids.

Overall, the kids did great! They had their episodes of wanting to be held, but I think they still enjoyed exploring and being outdoors. Aynsley especially loved seeing the wildflowers.

Once we got to the falls, they loved being able to play in the shallow water and throw rocks into the creek. Mike decided to explore some more with my brother and hike up to the actual falls. In the picture above, Mike is in red and my brother is in yellow. Fortunately, the kids were quite content to hang out with me where it was a little more level.

All in all, a successful trip! We are hoping to get some other hiking trips in before the end of summer, so hopefully this is a good sign that those trips will go well, too. Anyone that knows me well, knows that I can get a little vocal about loving coastal living more than what Utah offers, but it is times like this that remind me that this is a pretty good place to live. 

King of the Throne

We introduced potty training at our house on Friday. We have been telling Jax for a while that if he started going to the bathroom in the toilet, we would buy him a bike. I figured it was time to put up or shut up. This was something that I have had mixed feelings about for a long time. On one hand, it is expensive to have two kids in diapers, on the other, diapers are just SO convenient sometimes. I figured that with the kids being so close in age, chances are I could train both of them at the same time and save myself some time and energy. That was my first mistake.

I did everything that I could to be ready for the big day. I cleared out schedule, took the kids shopping for their own grown-up underwear, and loaded up on treats and drinks. The morning started off well. I used a doll to show the kids how easy it is go in the toilet and what happens when you don’t make it to the bathroom in time. They caught on pretty quickly and we moved on to having the kids wear their new underwear. The method I was using (Toilet Training in Under a Day) focuses on rewarding kids when they stay dry rather than when they go to the bathroom, and Jaxson was LOVING this. The only problem was that he soon started insisting that he didn’t need to even try sitting on his potty chair because he was already clean. Meanwhile, poor Aynsley started having lots of accidents which were freaking her out and giving her tons of anxiety. It quickly became clear that while both kids might seem ready, they still had different needs and there was not enough of me to go around to get both of them trained at the same time. So, Aynsley went back into diapers and my focus shifted just to Jaxson.

Once I started focusing only on him, he seemed to catch on a lot faster, although I had to switch to bribing him with rewards for when he went, rather than when he stayed dry. I was feeling fairly optimistic by the time he went to bed on Friday. Saturday morning rolled around and since I was out running, Mike was the only one around who could help him. For whatever reason, Jaxson was not okay with this, so we kind of had to start over on Saturday once I came home. I think that each day is getting a little bit better (Jax even took himself once on Sunday with no prompting/help from us!), but it is still hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and imagine when I will have the confidence to take him out in public for any extended period of time.

Potty training is definitely something that will test your patience, but at the same time, I have to admit that I have kind of enjoyed the quality time that Jaxson and I spent together. It isn’t often that you are confined to a space the size of a bathroom with very minimal interruptions…no TV, no phone, hardly any toys. It really makes you get back to basics and reminds you just how cool this little person is.

Guilt.

I think that the past few months in our household should be renamed the "Summer of Sickness". Since the end of June, it seems like there has been a never-ending combination of colds, stomach flu, and croup. Currently, we have three family members with colds and another with the stomach flu. Add to that a change in work schedule and caring for essentially two two year olds, and you can understand that life has been a bit crazy and overwhelming. Things reached a climax a few weeks ago when my sleep deprived brain had enough. I was feeling burned out and wanting a break from being home...Monday morning couldn't come fast enough! And then I felt guilt for wanting a break from the kids...this spiraled into (ridiculous?) feelings that surely I am the only mother who has ever felt this tired and exhausted and who sometimes just needs a break from anyone who cannot function as an independent adult. And of course, this self-imposed guilt made me feel like a terrible mother, which then added to my original feelings of stress and being overwhelmed. What a cycle!

Fortunately for me, I am NOT the only person that feels this why from time to time, right? As women in general, I think it is all too easy to worry that everyone else is judging us and looking for ways that we come up short or fail. In reality, I would be willing to bet that most of us are so busy with our own lives that we don't really have time to sit and evaluate others shortcomings. And if someone does have time for that, then they are probably the ones who have a problem! During one of my times of frustration, I was browing online for some motivational messages that I was hoping could help pick me up out of my slump. A few of my favorite things that I came across were:

I also loved this thought from Ginger Johnson: "I wish someone had told me to be gentle with myself, every day. Motherhood is hard, and if your children have any sort of challenges, it’s even harder. I wish someone had reminded me that I am the best mother for these particular boys, hand-picked to be their nurturer, advocate, and teacher, and that as much as they need me, I need them. Those words would have been more welcome advice than the oft-quoted and guilt-producing “time-passeth-quickly-savor-the-moment” speech." Motherhood is hard! And we (at least I do) beat ourselved up over it. It is so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that it is normal to have everything about it be perfect...picture perfect family, house looking like it appeared out of a magazine, gourmet meals on the table, home schooled kids, etc. I feel like I fall into this trap really easily because of infertility...I wanted these kids SO bad, so I shouldn't get frustrated when times are hard, right? WRONG! Sometimes it is okay to let go of the guilt, admit that things are hard/not as perfect as you would like, and just go with it. That is what I am trying to work on...living in the moment with my family so that I can enjoy each day as much as possible, but on my terms. Easier said than done, but the hardest things are also the most worthwile.

What's It Like in Your World?

Wow, time sure goes by fast! Jaxson and Aynsley are growing up so quickly. I absolutely love being their mom and I truly can't imagine having it any other way. I just love being a part of their worlds. Here is a glimpse at what is going on with each of the kids:

My sweet Jaxson:

Jaxson loves to run around outside. I could tell that he was feeling a little stir-crazy one day, so we went out into the backyard to run around. He loved being able to chase Faline around the yard and thought it was so funny that she was running away from him.

Jaxson loves to play on the playground. One of our favorite things to do right now is take a walk to one of the playgrounds in our neighborhood. He especially loves to play in the sand and go down the slide. Recently, we met up with some friends for a picnic lunch/play date at the park. Jaxson was in heaven! He is so social...he loves to play with other kids and was loving being able to go down the slide over and over.

Jaxson is slowly starting to get more vocal, and it seems like he has so much that he is trying to say. Some of his most commonly used words are hi, hi ___ (guys, sis, dad, mom-ma), no, owe-ie (I think he uses this as stop), go, and uh-oh. He also can say cookie, wa-wa (for water), hello, bye-bye, and a few others.

Jaxson still loves music and he loves to dance. He was always start moving around if he hears music that he likes.

One of his newest fascinations is that he has learned to turn light switches on and off. He loves to climb onto our sofa and turn the ceiling fan on. Once he sees the fan start to move, he points to it and has the biggest smile on his face.

My dear Aynsley:

Aynsley's personality is coming out more and more all the time. It is so fun to see her grow and learn. I love to hear her giggle and laugh...it is so precious!

Aynsley has finally started eating solids within the past week. She was so resistant to it...it kind of seemed like she just didn't know what to do with it. When I mentioned it to our pediatrician at her six month check-up, he told us to keep offering food at every meal, including offering table foods, just in case it was the baby food texture she didn't like. We still weren't seeing any progress until last week. My mom put a little bit of ice cream up to her lips, and she was hooked! Since then, she has successfully been eating any baby food that she has been given! :)

Aynsley is getting curly hair, and I love it! She looks so much like Mike, so it has been fun for me to see a trait that she inherited from me. It seems like her hair is becoming curlier the longer it gets, so we'll see what happens.

Aynsley is a girl after my own heart, and seems to love all things Disney. Although she still loves Mickey Mouse the most, she also seems to really enjoy whenever any Disney movie is on. I am so excited for when she and Jaxson are older, and I can take them to Disneyland to meet Mickey Mouse in real life!

Aynsley is sleeping through the night! She consistently will sleep 10-11 hours at night before waking up...so nice!

Like I said, Aynsley is growing up fast! She weighs almost as much as Jaxson, although he is still a lot taller than she is. She is wearing all of the clothes that I had planned for her to wear this summer, so we definitely like these warm days.

Our Backwards "Sleepover"

Lately, sleep has become a precious commodity at our house. Jaxson is going through a phase where he consistently wakes up before 6:00. This wouldn't be so bad, except Aynsley recently decided that she misses us too much and would rather not sleep through the night. Getting up multiple times through the night and then having an early wake-up call would make anyone tired, but then add to it that both kiddos have not been taking the best naps lately due to some remodeling we have going on at the house right now, and you get two grumpy kids and one tired mom.

So, I decided that we would stay in our pajamas this morning and have a "sleepover" day...just in reverse.

We started our day by making some chocolate chip waffles...yum!

Our "sleepover" continued when it was time for lunch. We had pizza picnic-style while watching Madagascar. Jaxson didn't quite get the concept that he was supposed to eat lunch on the floor, and I ended up having to put him in his highchair anyway, but it was a nice try.

Aynsley was just happy to be there. Don't you love her crazy hair? As her hair is getting longer, it is starting to get a little curl to it. After her bath, it kind of dried a little wonky. :)

After lunch, it was time for the sleepover part...nap time!

My Little Loves

I tried so hard to take pictures of the kids in their Valentine's Day shirts, but taking pictures of two little kiddos is much easier said than done. I would get one kid settled, and by the time the other was in position, the first was needing attention again! So, I had to settle on taking pictures of the kids individually.

Little Miss Aynsley:
Happy first Valentine's Day! She is such a sweetheart! Lucky for me, she was willing to let me take a few different pictures without getting too bored.

My Jaxson:
Always on the go, and definitely more difficult to photograph. I was so pleased to see that I got this picture, though. This is such a classic Jaxson expression, and I love it!

We had such a nice Valentine's day...I loved having it be low key and just spending time with the family. We have started a little family tradition to have dinner at home and then watch a movie. I love it, and am truly looking forward to continuing this as the kids get older. Mike and I went out for our own date night later in the week, and it was so nice to enjoy a quiet evening away. No crowds, no rush, just quality time. I love my family.