A Hard Weekend

I have realized that dealing with loss doesn't seem to get any easier over time or with experience. If anything, new loss brings up some of the feelings that you had thought you had forgotten or moved on from.

On Thursday, my sister, Kristin, went to the hospital because she thought that her water had broken. She had been feeling the baby move, so she was stunned to learn that her baby boy no longer had a heartbeat. She had just had an appointment the previous day, and the baby seemed to be perfectly healthy. She was just over 36 weeks pregnant.

When my mom called to tell me the news, I was stunned. This was the last thing that any of us were expecting. Mike and I immediately got ready to head to the hospital, and I ended up staying with her through the night and part of the next day. Fortunately, Kristin was blessed with an "easy" labor. They induced her at about 10:00 pm and she delivered her son at about 4:25 the following morning. She named her son Braxton David Rice. It was very surreal to see him be delivered, but not hear any of the typical sounds that you would associate with a delivery...no heart rate monitoring, no baby crying, no oohs and aahs about this beautiful new life.

What makes this story even more difficult is the journey Kristin had traveled to get to this point. She is expecting her divorce to be finalized any day now, and had chosen to place her baby for adoption. We had just had a family dinner with the couple she had chosen to place her baby with last week, and it had been so fun to see how excited they were...they told us about the nursery, baby showers, and a countdown chain they had. It is heartbreaking that this tragedy has to affect two different families.

Unfortunately, this has not been the only hard blow my family has been dealt this weekend. Yesterday, we learned that my grandpa has been diagnosed with an aggressive and invasive form of skin cancer. We are still waiting to learn how much the cancer has spread, but it sounds like it is not going to be an easy road. What makes it even more hard is that my grandparents live out of state, so it is hard for family to be accessible to them.

It has been amazing to see the kindness and tender mercies that come out of hard times. My family has been so blessed by the kindness of strangers, friends, and ward members. Some of my mom's friends stepped in and set-up meals, purchased clothing for Braxton to be buried in, and made all of the mortuary and cemetery arrangements. My cousin arranged for a professional photographer to come take pictures of Braxton and Kristin, free of charge. Another cousin went to my parent's house and spent hours cleaning, and there have been, and continue to be, many other kindnesses that have been extended to us. It makes me so thankful for all of the amazing people that we have in our life. I am also so thankful for my knowledge of the plan of salvation; even though this hurts right now, it is going to be okay eventually. 

My Baby Loves U2, Tender Moments, and Other Thoughts

Last week, we were able to go to the long-awaited U2 concert! We have seriously been waiting for this for SO long...I had originally bought tickets for Mike's Christmas present in 2009 to see them in Denver, then we sold those tickets and bought new ones once we found out they were coming to Salt Lake. I have seen them perform before, and I have always told Mike that he totally missed out when he could have seen them the last time they came around. Seeing U2 was on Mike's "bucket list" of concerts to see, so we were both looking forward to it.

A few weeks before the concert, Mike's stepdad was able to get better tickets than what we had, so we sold our tickets again and ended up going with his family. They had an extra ticket, so we were able to bring along my sister, which was fun.


The stage set-up was pretty intense. Apparently the band has four or five different stages that they use on tour because it takes too long to set-up each time. It was crazy to see all of the semi-trucks and buses that were needed to haul all of their equipment.

The concert was so much fun! This was the third time that I have seen them perform, and they did not disappoint. They played all of my favorite songs. Our little girl definitely enjoyed herself as well. She started moving a TON once they started playing and kept up most of the night. It was like she was rocking out in there. At least she has good taste in music!

The sweetest thing happened last week...I was snuggling Jaxson on the sofa, and the baby started to kick quite a bit. I don't know if he felt her or if it was just coincidence or what, but Jaxson then proceeded to move down until his face was next to my stomach. He started patting my belly and then leaned over and kissed it. It was so tender!!! I know that chances are it was all coincidental and he didn't really know that he was giving his sister a love, but it was so sweet...it just melted my heart. I hope that he loves his sister that much once she arrives and as they grow up together. I hope that they can always be close friends.

I can't believe that I am nearing the third trimester of my pregnancy. Time has gone by so quickly...I can hardly believe it! I have been fortunate in that I have felt really good ever since the morning sickness stopped. A lot of times I just feel like my normal self, so I really can't complain. Sometimes it seems so surreal that we are expecting a baby in September. It just doesn't seem real sometimes. I am sure that in some ways it is because it is something that we wanted for so long, and now that it is happening, it has taken a while to sink in. I am so grateful f0r this opportunity to be pregnant and I can't wait to meet this little girl. I am so glad that she has is healthy and is growing just as she should be. I love Jaxson so much and am so thankful to be his mom, so I can only imagine how it will be to have that love multiplied by having two children. If a year ago someone had told me how my life would be now, I would have thought they were crazy, but now I can't imagine it being any other way.

The Verdict Is In...

...and we're having a girl!!!!

We are so excited to welcome a little girl to our family! She wasn't feeling very photogenic today, so we couldn't get a good profile picture, but she definitely wasn't shy about letting us know that she is a girl. Everything looked great, and my due date is still September 2.

Lots of Movement!

We are definitely seeing a lot more mobility at our house lately. Although Jaxson started rolling over a while ago, he has really stepped it up lately. He now LOVES to roll over. He is really good at rolling from his back to his stomach, but is still working on going from his stomach to his back. Once Jax has rolled onto his stomach, he does a great job of propping himself up on his arms.


Once he is up on his arms, Jaxson will bring up his knees and try to scoot/crawl. So far he isn't too good at going forward, but he is really good at moving around in circles.

It has been so much fun to watch Jaxson learn grow. He is so smart! I know that he will be moving even more before I know it!

Besides Jaxson moving more, his little sibling has been moving a lot, too! I started feeling the baby move a couple of weeks ago, and I am loving it. It is so reassuring and it makes this pregnancy seem even more real. Sometimes it seems so surreal and it is hard to believe that I really am pregnant and will be having a baby in September. But whenever I feel those little kicks, it brings it all home and it is such a great feeling. This pregnancy is going by SO quickly. We go in for our big anatomy ultrasound next week, and Mike and I are excited to find out if we will be having a boy or a girl.

One of Those Girls...

Did you know that available research indicates that only 5-7% of couples who adopt due to infertility go on to become pregnant? Well, apparently the odds are in our favor, because...

Jaxson is going to be a big brother! We took this picture of Jaxson in January when we used this onesie to share the news with our families.

So far, things seem to be going well. I have had three ultrasounds, and everything is looking great. I am just about 15 weeks and the baby is due September 2. Jaxson and his sibling will be ten months apart in age. This will be quite the adventure, but we are definitely very excited!