Wait, Don't Go!

I am really NOT ready for summer to be winding down. Where has it gone? Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a winter person. At all. To put it midly, I despise the cold and snow. Each year, my contempt for the cold seems to grow...last year I went as far as applying for a new job in California. I know it sounds like I probably just have a bad attitude and need to suck it up and deal with it. I've tried, but I just can't really seem to find any winter type activities that I enjoy outside of the Christmas holiday season. Needless to say, I have been trying to enjoy the warm summer months as much as possible. Fortunately, I think that we have been able to do a few more summer activities the past few months. If summer has to end, at least it can go out in style, right?

We decided to try taking out kids to see their first drive-in movie. We took them to the movie "Planes" thinking that this would be a good choice since they really enjoy "Cars" and hopefully they would fall asleep anyway, right? Wrong. I think the problem started with the fact that you need to get to the drive-in pretty early in order to secure your spot. We were trying to keep the kids contained for about 45 minutes before the movie started, and they just didn't understand why we didn't want them running in the road or why we were even hanging out by our parked car in the first place. I was hoping that once the movie started, they would settle in and enjoy the show, but they were still too restless. We had lots of climbing in and out of the back of the car, followed by requests to go home because they were tired. I guess the experience could have been a lot worse, but I think we will wait a while before trying any type of movie experience again.

A couple of days later, we went to the Bees baseball game with Mike's family. This was our first time taking the kids to a game like this, so we were a little nervous. Fortunately, they both did much better than we were expecting! Aynsley got a little restless, but was able to be redirected and distracted. Jaxson loved the game and now loves everything baseball. Mike's dad bought the kids their own baseballs, and he carries his everywhere with him...he even likes to sleep with it. A couple days ago, Mike had a baseball game on TV and Jax immediately started watching it. Maybe I will have a little ball player on my hands?



Aynsley and Jax hanging out with their cousins at the game.

Jaxson and his cousin (Kambri) showing off their baseballs.

Loving his blue cotton candy tongue.

On Friday, Mike took the day off of work so that we could have a family fun day enjoying the "hot" weather. We planned on taking the kids to the water park...good thing I checked the hours the night before, because we found that it opened up at 4:00pm instead of the 9:00am time we were planning on going. We decided that instead of swimming, we would take the kids up to Park City for a ride on the alpine slide. We headed up the canyon in our shorts and t-shirts and were met with gray skies, wind, cold temperatures, and changing leaves! Leaves aren't supposed to change colors this early, right? We all had goosebumps as we made our way up the ski lift to ride the slide and were keeping our fingers crossed that it wouldn't rain...rain meant that the slide would be closed. The kids were champs despite the cold and enjoyed riding the slide down the mountain. It started raining right after we finished up and were leaving to get some lunch. So much for a warm summer day, but at least we had fun.

Hopefully the warm weather will come back and last a little bit longer. I absolutely love the fall, but I am not ready at all for what comes after it. I would love to find a few more summer activities that we can sneak in before it gets too cold.

Monthly Theme: How to Feed a Baby

Over at PAIL, there is a monthly theme where other bloggers are encouraged to write about their experiences with the assigned topic. Since PAIL is all about parenting after infertility, the topics typically have to do with parenting, kids, etc. This month's theme is about experiences with feeding your baby/child. This is an interesting topic for me because I feel like I have been in a unique position to experience different sides of the feeding debate.

When I first dreamed of motherhood, I pictured breastfeeding as the only logical choice, never really imaginging that it could be difficult, let alone not be an option. In most situations, adopting a child poses some restrictions on baby feeding, and we were no exception. But, I have to say, I was not disappointed in using formula for Jaxson. Yes, it is more expensive, but I really enjoyed it. It was so helpful to be able to allow other people to help feed him, especially when it was Mike's turn to get up with him in the night. It was nice to be able to leave him with a babysitter and not have to worry about being home in time for a feeding. I don't feel like Jaxson experienced any kind of disadvantage at all because he received formula instead of breastmilk.

When I was pregnant with Aynsley, I received more than one lecture on how nice it was that I would now be able to breastfeed my baby instead of resorting to formula. I was told all about how terrible formula is and how amazing breastfeeding is, albeit hard and painful. People explained that breastfeeding your baby is what makes you a real mom. When Aynsley was born, we tried breastfeeding. A lot. The poor girl started losing too much weight in the hospital, and we were forced to give her a bottle. Despite visits with a lactation nurse and a lot of attempts, she still struggled. I am sure that part of this could have been the fact that she had acid reflux AND I was also trying to care for her 10 month old brother while trying to feed her, but she struggled getting enough unless it came from the bottle. We finally concluded that it would be better for our daughter's health if all of her meals came from the bottle. I ended up doing about 50% formula and 50% breastmilk (that I pumped), and it worked out really well for her. I still enjoyed the convenience of her having a bottle and she was able to get some breastmilk. And do you know what? She did just fine, even though she also had formula in her diet.

This whole experience really taught me the importance of respecting other mom's preferences in how they care for their kids. For some women, breastfeeding is the only way to go, and it works great for them. For others, there are different reasons why it doesn't work out. And that is perfectly okay. What matters most is whatever is working for baby and mom, and not for someone else.

Donut Falls

Last night, we took our kids for their first hike. Having two young kids has made us a little nervous to try some family activities...let's face it, even just taking two young kids on an outing to the store can be an adventure. I have many fond childhood memories of spending time in the mountains with my family, and hiking to Donut Falls was one of my favorites. My brother and sister wanted to hike there again, so we figured it was the perfect time to try it out with our kids.

Overall, the kids did great! They had their episodes of wanting to be held, but I think they still enjoyed exploring and being outdoors. Aynsley especially loved seeing the wildflowers.

Once we got to the falls, they loved being able to play in the shallow water and throw rocks into the creek. Mike decided to explore some more with my brother and hike up to the actual falls. In the picture above, Mike is in red and my brother is in yellow. Fortunately, the kids were quite content to hang out with me where it was a little more level.

All in all, a successful trip! We are hoping to get some other hiking trips in before the end of summer, so hopefully this is a good sign that those trips will go well, too. Anyone that knows me well, knows that I can get a little vocal about loving coastal living more than what Utah offers, but it is times like this that remind me that this is a pretty good place to live. 

King of the Throne

We introduced potty training at our house on Friday. We have been telling Jax for a while that if he started going to the bathroom in the toilet, we would buy him a bike. I figured it was time to put up or shut up. This was something that I have had mixed feelings about for a long time. On one hand, it is expensive to have two kids in diapers, on the other, diapers are just SO convenient sometimes. I figured that with the kids being so close in age, chances are I could train both of them at the same time and save myself some time and energy. That was my first mistake.

I did everything that I could to be ready for the big day. I cleared out schedule, took the kids shopping for their own grown-up underwear, and loaded up on treats and drinks. The morning started off well. I used a doll to show the kids how easy it is go in the toilet and what happens when you don’t make it to the bathroom in time. They caught on pretty quickly and we moved on to having the kids wear their new underwear. The method I was using (Toilet Training in Under a Day) focuses on rewarding kids when they stay dry rather than when they go to the bathroom, and Jaxson was LOVING this. The only problem was that he soon started insisting that he didn’t need to even try sitting on his potty chair because he was already clean. Meanwhile, poor Aynsley started having lots of accidents which were freaking her out and giving her tons of anxiety. It quickly became clear that while both kids might seem ready, they still had different needs and there was not enough of me to go around to get both of them trained at the same time. So, Aynsley went back into diapers and my focus shifted just to Jaxson.

Once I started focusing only on him, he seemed to catch on a lot faster, although I had to switch to bribing him with rewards for when he went, rather than when he stayed dry. I was feeling fairly optimistic by the time he went to bed on Friday. Saturday morning rolled around and since I was out running, Mike was the only one around who could help him. For whatever reason, Jaxson was not okay with this, so we kind of had to start over on Saturday once I came home. I think that each day is getting a little bit better (Jax even took himself once on Sunday with no prompting/help from us!), but it is still hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and imagine when I will have the confidence to take him out in public for any extended period of time.

Potty training is definitely something that will test your patience, but at the same time, I have to admit that I have kind of enjoyed the quality time that Jaxson and I spent together. It isn’t often that you are confined to a space the size of a bathroom with very minimal interruptions…no TV, no phone, hardly any toys. It really makes you get back to basics and reminds you just how cool this little person is.

Guilt.

I think that the past few months in our household should be renamed the "Summer of Sickness". Since the end of June, it seems like there has been a never-ending combination of colds, stomach flu, and croup. Currently, we have three family members with colds and another with the stomach flu. Add to that a change in work schedule and caring for essentially two two year olds, and you can understand that life has been a bit crazy and overwhelming. Things reached a climax a few weeks ago when my sleep deprived brain had enough. I was feeling burned out and wanting a break from being home...Monday morning couldn't come fast enough! And then I felt guilt for wanting a break from the kids...this spiraled into (ridiculous?) feelings that surely I am the only mother who has ever felt this tired and exhausted and who sometimes just needs a break from anyone who cannot function as an independent adult. And of course, this self-imposed guilt made me feel like a terrible mother, which then added to my original feelings of stress and being overwhelmed. What a cycle!

Fortunately for me, I am NOT the only person that feels this why from time to time, right? As women in general, I think it is all too easy to worry that everyone else is judging us and looking for ways that we come up short or fail. In reality, I would be willing to bet that most of us are so busy with our own lives that we don't really have time to sit and evaluate others shortcomings. And if someone does have time for that, then they are probably the ones who have a problem! During one of my times of frustration, I was browing online for some motivational messages that I was hoping could help pick me up out of my slump. A few of my favorite things that I came across were:

I also loved this thought from Ginger Johnson: "I wish someone had told me to be gentle with myself, every day. Motherhood is hard, and if your children have any sort of challenges, it’s even harder. I wish someone had reminded me that I am the best mother for these particular boys, hand-picked to be their nurturer, advocate, and teacher, and that as much as they need me, I need them. Those words would have been more welcome advice than the oft-quoted and guilt-producing “time-passeth-quickly-savor-the-moment” speech." Motherhood is hard! And we (at least I do) beat ourselved up over it. It is so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that it is normal to have everything about it be perfect...picture perfect family, house looking like it appeared out of a magazine, gourmet meals on the table, home schooled kids, etc. I feel like I fall into this trap really easily because of infertility...I wanted these kids SO bad, so I shouldn't get frustrated when times are hard, right? WRONG! Sometimes it is okay to let go of the guilt, admit that things are hard/not as perfect as you would like, and just go with it. That is what I am trying to work on...living in the moment with my family so that I can enjoy each day as much as possible, but on my terms. Easier said than done, but the hardest things are also the most worthwile.