Monthly Theme: How to Feed a Baby

Over at PAIL, there is a monthly theme where other bloggers are encouraged to write about their experiences with the assigned topic. Since PAIL is all about parenting after infertility, the topics typically have to do with parenting, kids, etc. This month's theme is about experiences with feeding your baby/child. This is an interesting topic for me because I feel like I have been in a unique position to experience different sides of the feeding debate.

When I first dreamed of motherhood, I pictured breastfeeding as the only logical choice, never really imaginging that it could be difficult, let alone not be an option. In most situations, adopting a child poses some restrictions on baby feeding, and we were no exception. But, I have to say, I was not disappointed in using formula for Jaxson. Yes, it is more expensive, but I really enjoyed it. It was so helpful to be able to allow other people to help feed him, especially when it was Mike's turn to get up with him in the night. It was nice to be able to leave him with a babysitter and not have to worry about being home in time for a feeding. I don't feel like Jaxson experienced any kind of disadvantage at all because he received formula instead of breastmilk.

When I was pregnant with Aynsley, I received more than one lecture on how nice it was that I would now be able to breastfeed my baby instead of resorting to formula. I was told all about how terrible formula is and how amazing breastfeeding is, albeit hard and painful. People explained that breastfeeding your baby is what makes you a real mom. When Aynsley was born, we tried breastfeeding. A lot. The poor girl started losing too much weight in the hospital, and we were forced to give her a bottle. Despite visits with a lactation nurse and a lot of attempts, she still struggled. I am sure that part of this could have been the fact that she had acid reflux AND I was also trying to care for her 10 month old brother while trying to feed her, but she struggled getting enough unless it came from the bottle. We finally concluded that it would be better for our daughter's health if all of her meals came from the bottle. I ended up doing about 50% formula and 50% breastmilk (that I pumped), and it worked out really well for her. I still enjoyed the convenience of her having a bottle and she was able to get some breastmilk. And do you know what? She did just fine, even though she also had formula in her diet.

This whole experience really taught me the importance of respecting other mom's preferences in how they care for their kids. For some women, breastfeeding is the only way to go, and it works great for them. For others, there are different reasons why it doesn't work out. And that is perfectly okay. What matters most is whatever is working for baby and mom, and not for someone else.

King of the Throne

We introduced potty training at our house on Friday. We have been telling Jax for a while that if he started going to the bathroom in the toilet, we would buy him a bike. I figured it was time to put up or shut up. This was something that I have had mixed feelings about for a long time. On one hand, it is expensive to have two kids in diapers, on the other, diapers are just SO convenient sometimes. I figured that with the kids being so close in age, chances are I could train both of them at the same time and save myself some time and energy. That was my first mistake.

I did everything that I could to be ready for the big day. I cleared out schedule, took the kids shopping for their own grown-up underwear, and loaded up on treats and drinks. The morning started off well. I used a doll to show the kids how easy it is go in the toilet and what happens when you don’t make it to the bathroom in time. They caught on pretty quickly and we moved on to having the kids wear their new underwear. The method I was using (Toilet Training in Under a Day) focuses on rewarding kids when they stay dry rather than when they go to the bathroom, and Jaxson was LOVING this. The only problem was that he soon started insisting that he didn’t need to even try sitting on his potty chair because he was already clean. Meanwhile, poor Aynsley started having lots of accidents which were freaking her out and giving her tons of anxiety. It quickly became clear that while both kids might seem ready, they still had different needs and there was not enough of me to go around to get both of them trained at the same time. So, Aynsley went back into diapers and my focus shifted just to Jaxson.

Once I started focusing only on him, he seemed to catch on a lot faster, although I had to switch to bribing him with rewards for when he went, rather than when he stayed dry. I was feeling fairly optimistic by the time he went to bed on Friday. Saturday morning rolled around and since I was out running, Mike was the only one around who could help him. For whatever reason, Jaxson was not okay with this, so we kind of had to start over on Saturday once I came home. I think that each day is getting a little bit better (Jax even took himself once on Sunday with no prompting/help from us!), but it is still hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and imagine when I will have the confidence to take him out in public for any extended period of time.

Potty training is definitely something that will test your patience, but at the same time, I have to admit that I have kind of enjoyed the quality time that Jaxson and I spent together. It isn’t often that you are confined to a space the size of a bathroom with very minimal interruptions…no TV, no phone, hardly any toys. It really makes you get back to basics and reminds you just how cool this little person is.