PAIL

I recently came across PAIL: Parenting After Infertility and Loss, and I am so glad that I did! Prior to Aynsley being born, but especially prior to adopting Jaxson, I did a lot of infertility blogging. Although I chose not to share those posts with anyone I knew in real life, I found that blogging and networking with complete strangers was such a support to me, because these people knew exactly how I was feeling. After Aynsley's birth, I started to drift away from the infertility blogging community because even though I could relate to how others were feeling, most of them couldn't relate to me. Plus, what infertile girl wants to read about someone's two kids, even if they have dealt with infertility?

I realize that right now, our family does not look like the poster child for infertility. Unfortunately, I will always be infertile, and I know that it will plague me again the next time we are ready to welcome another child into our home. I have come to realize that the pain of infertility never completely fades, or if it does, it takes a really long time. It is different now; instead of longing for a child, it presents in other ways...wishing that I could perfectly space out the time between kids, sadness when I see someone complaining about their pregnancy.

So, back to PAIL. PAIL is a list of blogs that are written by people who now are parenting after infertility. I was so happy to recognize many of the people that I used to follow when I was writing on my infertility blog. I am really looking forward to getting in touch with some of these ladies again.

As an added bonus, this week is National Infertility Awareness Week.  I would encourage everyone to take just a minute and learn a little more about infertility. Did you know that infertility affects an average of 1 in 8 couples? Chances are, you know someone besides me that has been affected by it.

I don't mean to get on my soapbox, but this is an issue that has affected me and is dear to my heart. Thanks for listening to my ramblings. :)

Hoppy Easter

We  had such a fun Easter with the kids this year. Even though Jaxson still didn't know what was really going on, he still had a lot of fun, and Aynsley loved being able to play with the plastic Easter eggs. It is so fun to see them get excited! 

We had my cousins come over for a little egg hunt and to dye Easter eggs the day before Easter. The two other kids are a bit older than Jaxson, so I was a little worried about how well he would be able to keep up and whether he would be even able to find eggs on his own. I shouldn't have worried...he was a champ! He started finding eggs and putting them into the sack while I was still trying to explain the rules to the other kids. It was just like he was an old pro at finding eggs and knowing exactly what to do with them. So cute!

Aynsley was just so happy...she loved playing with the empty eggs. She is such a sweetheart! 

 The kids weren't too excited about anything on Easter morning. I thought Jaxson would have liked looking in his basket, but he seemed to be mostly fascinated with the Easter grass. I think I was the most excited of everyone. :)

 I think the kids look super cute in their new Easter clothes. I really love this picture of Aynsley...she just has the biggest smile on her face! I tried to catch a good picture of just Jaxson, but no luck. That kid is ALWAYS on the move!

It has been interesting for me to celebrate the holidays as a mom rather than just as a wife or daughter. Especially now that Jaxson is understanding more and more, I feel an added weight of how important it is to really teach him about why we celebrate occasions like Easter. I don't want them to grow up thinking that the most important things in life are things...there is SO much more. This Easter season, I am so thankful for the many blessings that I have been given, especially during the past few years. I am so thankful for the power of the atonement and the ability it has to ease the pain and difficulties that we face in life. I know that I couldn't make it through alone!

What's It Like in Your World?

Wow, time sure goes by fast! Jaxson and Aynsley are growing up so quickly. I absolutely love being their mom and I truly can't imagine having it any other way. I just love being a part of their worlds. Here is a glimpse at what is going on with each of the kids:

My sweet Jaxson:

Jaxson loves to run around outside. I could tell that he was feeling a little stir-crazy one day, so we went out into the backyard to run around. He loved being able to chase Faline around the yard and thought it was so funny that she was running away from him.

Jaxson loves to play on the playground. One of our favorite things to do right now is take a walk to one of the playgrounds in our neighborhood. He especially loves to play in the sand and go down the slide. Recently, we met up with some friends for a picnic lunch/play date at the park. Jaxson was in heaven! He is so social...he loves to play with other kids and was loving being able to go down the slide over and over.

Jaxson is slowly starting to get more vocal, and it seems like he has so much that he is trying to say. Some of his most commonly used words are hi, hi ___ (guys, sis, dad, mom-ma), no, owe-ie (I think he uses this as stop), go, and uh-oh. He also can say cookie, wa-wa (for water), hello, bye-bye, and a few others.

Jaxson still loves music and he loves to dance. He was always start moving around if he hears music that he likes.

One of his newest fascinations is that he has learned to turn light switches on and off. He loves to climb onto our sofa and turn the ceiling fan on. Once he sees the fan start to move, he points to it and has the biggest smile on his face.

My dear Aynsley:

Aynsley's personality is coming out more and more all the time. It is so fun to see her grow and learn. I love to hear her giggle and laugh...it is so precious!

Aynsley has finally started eating solids within the past week. She was so resistant to it...it kind of seemed like she just didn't know what to do with it. When I mentioned it to our pediatrician at her six month check-up, he told us to keep offering food at every meal, including offering table foods, just in case it was the baby food texture she didn't like. We still weren't seeing any progress until last week. My mom put a little bit of ice cream up to her lips, and she was hooked! Since then, she has successfully been eating any baby food that she has been given! :)

Aynsley is getting curly hair, and I love it! She looks so much like Mike, so it has been fun for me to see a trait that she inherited from me. It seems like her hair is becoming curlier the longer it gets, so we'll see what happens.

Aynsley is a girl after my own heart, and seems to love all things Disney. Although she still loves Mickey Mouse the most, she also seems to really enjoy whenever any Disney movie is on. I am so excited for when she and Jaxson are older, and I can take them to Disneyland to meet Mickey Mouse in real life!

Aynsley is sleeping through the night! She consistently will sleep 10-11 hours at night before waking up...so nice!

Like I said, Aynsley is growing up fast! She weighs almost as much as Jaxson, although he is still a lot taller than she is. She is wearing all of the clothes that I had planned for her to wear this summer, so we definitely like these warm days.

Our Backwards "Sleepover"

Lately, sleep has become a precious commodity at our house. Jaxson is going through a phase where he consistently wakes up before 6:00. This wouldn't be so bad, except Aynsley recently decided that she misses us too much and would rather not sleep through the night. Getting up multiple times through the night and then having an early wake-up call would make anyone tired, but then add to it that both kiddos have not been taking the best naps lately due to some remodeling we have going on at the house right now, and you get two grumpy kids and one tired mom.

So, I decided that we would stay in our pajamas this morning and have a "sleepover" day...just in reverse.

We started our day by making some chocolate chip waffles...yum!

Our "sleepover" continued when it was time for lunch. We had pizza picnic-style while watching Madagascar. Jaxson didn't quite get the concept that he was supposed to eat lunch on the floor, and I ended up having to put him in his highchair anyway, but it was a nice try.

Aynsley was just happy to be there. Don't you love her crazy hair? As her hair is getting longer, it is starting to get a little curl to it. After her bath, it kind of dried a little wonky. :)

After lunch, it was time for the sleepover part...nap time!

My Little Loves

I tried so hard to take pictures of the kids in their Valentine's Day shirts, but taking pictures of two little kiddos is much easier said than done. I would get one kid settled, and by the time the other was in position, the first was needing attention again! So, I had to settle on taking pictures of the kids individually.

Little Miss Aynsley:
Happy first Valentine's Day! She is such a sweetheart! Lucky for me, she was willing to let me take a few different pictures without getting too bored.

My Jaxson:
Always on the go, and definitely more difficult to photograph. I was so pleased to see that I got this picture, though. This is such a classic Jaxson expression, and I love it!

We had such a nice Valentine's day...I loved having it be low key and just spending time with the family. We have started a little family tradition to have dinner at home and then watch a movie. I love it, and am truly looking forward to continuing this as the kids get older. Mike and I went out for our own date night later in the week, and it was so nice to enjoy a quiet evening away. No crowds, no rush, just quality time. I love my family.

Parachute Date Night

Last week, Mike and I had the opportunity for a rare date night out without the kiddos. We headed out to Club Sound to see Parachute in concert.

We had such a great time! We kept joking about how it felt like we were back in high school...this had definitely been a long time coming.  When Mike first said that he wanted to go, I was a little skeptical because I wasn't very familiar with their music. I had only heard the one or two songs that they have on the radio. After the concert, I definitely became their newest fan!

Big thanks to "Hoppa" and "Nina" who were willing to babysit, despite a little girl who decided to throw a big fit!

10 Things I Love About You

Jaxson, ten of the things I love so much about you right now are:

1. You are learning so much and soaking up everything! Whether it is learning where your nose is, a new word, or how to assert your opinion, I love it all.

2. You say "hi" all the time...it could be as a greeting, to get someone's attention, or when you are trying to get someone to take something. "Hi" is your favorite word.

3. You absolutely love to be tickled. You will purposefully wait so that someone will tickle you, then laugh hysterically.

4. I love that you are so interested in cooking and always want to help. I loved making sugar cookies with you this week. You did such a good job helping me cut out the cookies.

5. I love how much you love music. Right now, your favorites seem to be Taylor Swift and Fresh Beat Band. Hearing either of those will immediately catch your attention. You love to dance to a good beat.

6. You will still let me snuggle with you, especially in the morning after you first wake up. I always enjoy cuddling with you while we watch a morning cartoon.

7. You are such a good brother. You get the biggest smile on your face whenever you see Aynsley. You are always telling her "hi". You also try to rock her when she is in her car seat, give her a pacifier, push her around in the walker...anything you can do to try and help her.

8. You are such a charmer. Even though you are going through a shy stage right now, you still know how to make everyone smile. People can't help falling in love with you.

9. You are so proud of yourself when you have a new accomplishment. You recently learned how to make a basket in your basketball hoop, and you always clap your hands whenever you make a basket. You also clap your hands whenever you are excited about something.

10. You love to play! You love seeing other kids and being able to play with them. It doesn't matter if they are a few years older or your same age, you just love to play.

Aynsley, ten of the things I love so much about you right now are:

1. You have the biggest smiles! They light up your entire face and make your eyes crinkle.

2. You are so strong and are growing so quickly. I can't believe you have started sitting up...and you aren't even five months old yet! You are also rolling over and love to play with your rattles.

3. You love to snuggle! You absolutely love it when you are being held and wrapped up in a blanket. Sometimes you don't even sleep well unless you are being held. It gives me a good excuse to slow down and just enjoy being able to hold you.

4. You love your big brother! You get such a big smile on your face whenever you see him. I know that you and Jaxson are going to be best friends.

5. Sometimes it seems like you are trying so hard to talk. When you coo, it sounds like you are trying to say "hi".

6. You already love Faline. You are always trying to reach for her and pet her.

7. Like your brother, you also seem to like music. You love it when Jaxson is watching the Fresh Beat Band: you always turn yourself so you can watch as well.

8. You are a very tough little girl! As much as your brother loves you, he is sometimes a little rough. For the most part, you take it all in stride and don't get too upset.

9. You are already very opinionated. You know what you want, and you make sure that we know it, too. I hope that you are able to channel this energy in a positive way as you get older. :)

10. I love your laugh! Sometimes your laugh sounds a little like a cry, but your face is lit up in the biggest smile. I love being silly and making you laugh. I love to see you so happy.